A Lawyer's Question
A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to
the stand in a trial--a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He
approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've
known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've
been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your
wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their
backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than
a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he
pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you
know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley
since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his
parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me.
He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't
build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."
At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and
called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he
said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me,
you'll be in jail for contempt within 5 minutes!"
Why did the Siamese twins move to England?
So the other one could drive.
The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a "professional". Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult.
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, " Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator? " (Wrong Answer)Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just
put him in there. This tests your memory. OK, even if you did not answer the
first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your
true abilities.
4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do
you manage it?
Correct Answer: You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the Animal
Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes. According
to Accenture, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions
wrong. But many preschoolers got several correct answers. Accenture says
this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the
brains of a four year old.
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